Thread:Daniel 1939/@comment-6697950-20140528080438

http://swordartonline.wikia.com/wiki/Algade?diff=80981&oldid=79924

"After killing a Ragout Rabbit, which dropped a rare S-class meat, while walking back from the 74th Floor's Labyrinth, Kirito quickly used a Teleport Crystal to warp to Algade to sell the item to Agil for a high price."

The format of this sentence is:

Time, inserted description of the rabbit dropping a rare item, continuing description of the time, main clause.

Why did you split this sentence into several sentences with no relation among them?

Your version:

"Kirito killed a Ragout Rabbit, which dropped a rare S-class meat. While walking back from the 74th Floor's Labyrinth, Kirito quickly used a Teleport Crystal to warp to Algade to sell the item to Agil for a high price."

You're saying:
 * Kirito killed a rabbit (with a lack of a proper introduction to the sentence)
 * Then, at some unnamed point while walking back from the Labyrinth (did he return to the Labyrinth just to go back from it again?) he randomly decided to teleport to town (since you're saying that after he killed the rabbit, he continued walking and, for no apparent reason, decided to port)

See how your changes completely mess up the logic of the whole sentence? That's why you should read the entire sentence before making changes, as it may be using a complex structure (especially if it's written by me) and changing it carelessly will result in such ambiguities.

P.S. Be careful to check your facts when editing. 