Thread:Paul Nebeling/@comment-6697950-20170205191215

I've noticed a few things about your edit that I thought I should bring to your attention for future reference.

First, chronology referencing is only needed if the information comes from a different publication that the heading implies. For example, if you added information about what happened after Sachi's death based on The Day After, instead of Red-Nosed Reindeer, you'd have to cite it. But if you added a summary of Red-Nosed Reindeer under a heading titled as such, no reference is required.

Second, quotes are not allowed on articles. They should be paraphrased into reported speech, which is better for style.

Third, a chronology on a character should focus specifically on the character that the article is about. For example, if the article is about Kizmel, you should avoid any sentence where Kirito is the subject in the main clause. Everything should be told through Kizmel's point of view, though for transition, you can mention what other characters do in a relative clause or any other grammatical structure that puts less focus on other characters.

Finally, please try to employ a larger variety of grammatical structures, especially ones that don't sound too plain. "Character X then did Y" can be used once if really needed, but it should be used sparingly. We strive to have our articles sound formal and rich in style. 