Thread:Gsimenas/@comment-24886338-20140501011914/@comment-6697950-20140501185044

All articles are supposed to be impersonal. For one thing, articles are appear more reliable if it is written in a formal and impersonal style. Moroever, imagine reading an article and finding a personal statement like "I believe" or "from my experience", but the "I" becomes very ambiguous, as you don't sign in an article, i.e. no one will get who the "I" is.

And this is pretty much the reason for why I asked you to write a draft. I wasn't sure how well versed you were when it came to article writing, so I wanted to check your work before it was published and would have ended up in me freaking out.

Alright, I'll give you a few comments on your work:

General things:


 * As C9 has said above, the leading paragraph must be improved. It must follow the standards that you can see in pretty much any article on the wiki. The paragraph must begin with an introduction of the subject (which must be bolded) and a definition of the subject.


 * On the spot example: Relationship System refers to a system in Sword Art Online that manages the relationship between players, including possible interaction features. (disabled wiki encoding so that you would see what needs to be inserted into source)


 * Poor image. It breaches the Image Guideline, since it's extremely low quality, not sourced/categorised, and it's a repeat of an existing (high quality) image. http://swordartonline.wikia.com/wiki/File:Honeymoon_BD.png


 * Contractions should be avoided on artilces. Again, formal style is preferred.


 * Lack of referencing. Such an article bases its information from numerous parts of the series and, usually, the kind of facts that not many people know about, thus as much of it should be referenced as possible.


 * I'd recommend listing the types of relationship in bullets (the way I am stating my comments in this message), instead of new paragraphs.


 * Avoid any "you" in the article. Use "the player", "players", "they", 'their" etc.. Again, better for style.

Content:


 * I had planned the article to mention anything that is related to a player's relationship with a player and the possible interactions that each level allowed. That includes the strangers level too. For one thing, I was planning to mention that players who meet someone for a first time cannot see their avatar name (as a safety precaution). Also, there's an instant messaging system that allows players who are not friends to send short messages to each other, but the system has limmited use as 1) It only works if both parties are on the same floor. 2) A player need to know the name of the other party. 3) Don't remember for sure, but I think there was a character limit.


 * You didn't add anything about ALO. There is some information about the relationships in ALO. E.g. we know that marriages don't exist, but characters imported from SAO might have a hidden "married" state and the "no names on first meeting" rule also applies to ALO.


 * I'd advise having divorce under marriage. You can't divorce if you aren't married.


 * I don't see why marriage gets its own section (2 if we count divorce), but the other types don't get one. You explain how a player can get married, but I don't see why you can't mention how players can become friends. Instead of having a "benefits" section, I'd advise turning each point into a section, that could also be used for things like explaining how a player can reach that relationship level and anything else interesting that can be mentioned.

I'm sure there's more things that I should mention, but I can't remember what else I wanted to mention on the article. That's why I said that the project involved a lot of research, since there are tidbits of information throughout the books. That's one of the biggest reasons why I had put the project on hold... I just didn't have enough time and determination to go through all the books to look for the minor tidbits.